I know almost none of my readers care about college football, seeing as that readership is small enough that I know most of you one way or another and your tastes, but damned if it doesn’t throw up a wonderfully bizarre story every season (emphasis mine):
Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry defended his controversial decision to bring a live tiger back on LSU’s sidelines for the first time since 2016, and jabbed the Tigers for their poor performance in a 42-13 loss on Saturday that essentially eliminated LSU from College Football Playoff contention.
“Our tiger, our live tiger, unfortunately, disappointingly, was the only tiger who showed up Saturday. I’m sorry,” Landry said at an event Monday night in Metairie, La., outside of New Orleans.
After Mike VI died in 2016, LSU announced the end of the tradition of having a tiger on the sidelines during games. He often sat in a cage outside the visitor locker room, so opposing teams would have to walk past him onto the field. Sometimes, Mike would refuse to leave his on-campus enclosure so he attended just 33 of 58 games from 2007-15.
The tradition of a tiger named Mike living on LSU’s campus persisted for almost a century since Mike’s debut in 1936.
The practice had also come under fire from animal rights organizations.
LSU declined to make Mike available to resume the tradition of being on the sidelines, so Landry leased a tiger named Omar Bradley through Mitchel Kalmanson, a Florida man who operates an “exotic animal talent agency.” Kalmanson has been a frequent target of criticism from PETA and twice (2003 and 2004), tigers under his care escaped. During one of those escapes, the tiger attacked an elephant.
The woke student body of *check notes* Louisiana, which Trump won with a 24% margin, weren’t happy about a live tiger, being brought to a game with 60,000 people, that wasn’t even the right tiger (some fans booed the tiger), by a state governor that didn’t go to the university, to revive a tradition that’s been dead for nearly a decade, and had probably outlived good taste by several decades more.
Importantly, no university or state money was used to rent the tiger from some guy in Florida who has numerous animal rights concerns and has had two previous tiger escapes on record, including one elephant (?) attack. That’s the important bit.
You, literally, could not make this up. This followed, and quickly eclipsed, the A&M fan booted for cocaine possession at a game and harks back to the 2021 classic “Monkey belonging to Texas special team's coach stripper girlfriend bites child on Halloween”. Reading about college football red-asses getting themselves into this kind of trouble is why I unlock my phone every morning, just in case.
And it has to be college football. There are roughly 1,000 universities with athletic programs and roughly 130 of those are in the top division of football, most of whose games are important to be broadcast. Multiply 130 by two or three dozen employed coaches, trainers and analysts, who have likely never held a real job in their lives, and a roster of 80 to 100 individual amateur to semi-professional players, all of whom are men generally under 25, and someone, somewhere is going to do something insane.
That it was the elected governor of a state who thought the live tiger on the sideline of a football game was a good idea is just icing. Although, I am starting to wonder about this whole democracy thing.
The grace, the beauty of sports
He looks like he just wants a pat. Who’s a good kitty?
Good stuff I read this year
Here’s a bunch of stuff that took my fancy in 2024 to kill time until next year’s newsletter1 or at least through the holidays. You’ll find thematic hints throughout, even if you are not a fan of e.g. this much cycling-specific content, as well as a bunch of weird shit I’d forgotten had happened.
I’ve tried to include gift links to Defector dot com where relevant but maybe you should consider a subscription to that august publication.
I have also just finished The Club: How the Premier League became the Richest, Most Disruptive Business in Sport, which has been extremely good and will suit you if you like sports business with a big picture overly (as I clearly do), and was picked up (ironically) via the also extremely good Who Killed College Football? podcast.
1959
January
Panthers' David Tepper fined $300K for tossing drink at fans. McAfee apologizes for being ‘part of’ Rodgers’ comment alleging Kimmel has link to Epstein. NFL offers buyouts to more than 200 employees. NFL in advanced talks with ESPN to acquire equity stake in network. Saudi Arabia’s Expensive Soccer Experiment Is Already Showing Cracks. Two Years Later, The Russian Figure Skating Scandal Still Lingers. The First CBA In Women’s Hockey Is A Picture Of The Future, And A Story Of The Past. In Search Of The Shanahan Offense (tangentially related podcast series). Melbourne Rebels go bust, a fact immediately forgotten by everyone. ‘The team was rebranded to Visa Cash App RB F1 Team for the 2024 season, shortened to the acronymised "VCARB"‘. Bill Belichick, Pete Carroll, Jurgen Klopp, Guenther Steiner, Nick Saban and Franz Beckenbauer all had status updates of varying significance in the space of a week.
February
Peter Thiel’s Pro-Doping Olympics Alternative Seeks to Raise $300 Million (uh-huh, we should definitely not put Peter Thiel in jail). The Super Bowl Before The Crunch. The Darkness And The Lights Of Super Bowl Parties. World Marathon record holder, Kenya's Kelvin Kiptum, dead aged 24. ATP Tour Announces Deal To Accept More Saudi Money. josh allen and daniel ricciardo’s friendship is everything to me. The PGA tour received a $3b investment from SSG. Why did monster sprint trains disappear? How fears over CTE and football outpaced what researchers know.
March
To everyone’s surprise, F1’s schlocky personal soap opera has become reality. Road & Track EIC Tries To Explain Why He Deleted An Article About Formula 1 Power Dynamics. Behind F1’s Velvet Curtain (alternative link). Why is FSG pursuing a multi-club model and what’s in it for Liverpool? Saudi Arabia’s new $1billion proposal and the battle to control tennis. Netflix and tennis: Why did Break Point fail? AFL announces Tasmania Devils will be new team’s name as playing kit unveiled.
April
Marlins-Yankees start pushed back because of solar eclipse. Saudi Pro League Player Whipped By Incensed Fan. How IndyCar is managing interest from new teams. Fastest Amstel podium-drinks at Amstel Gold Race ceremony. F1 owner Liberty Media announces takeover of MotoGP.
May
From Dairy Daddies to Trash Pandas: How branding creates fans for lower-league baseball teams. The Premier League's Salary Cap Has American Influence Written All Over It. IPL’s age of carnage may relent but cricket’s future can be seen amid the content. Why Is It So Hard To Add New Paralympic Sports?
June
Lake County Captains unveil 'Toilet Row' seating experience. One Cycling’s not dead. Extreme H presents hydrogen-powered race car and a fresh focus. Rockies win in walk-off after bases-loaded pitch clock violation. The Rise Of Bowlero Has Put Bowling In The Jaws Of Private Equity. Will the PGA Tour, PIF make a deal? Saudi Arabia’s Next Billion-Dollar Sports Play: A Boxing Takeover. Grand Slam Track Will Feature 4 Meets Each With $3 Million+ In Prize Money. How The United States Is Finally Getting Kind Of Good At Cricket.
July
Mark Cavendish Endured So Much To Break The Tour de France’s Most Hallowed Record. Travis Bazzana’s an Aussie schooled in cricket. Now he’s the top pick in the 2024 MLB Draft. French international GAA team put Dublin clubs to the sword in first games on Irish soil. How cricket became sport’s next big thing – Olympics, India, the U.S. and other new markets.
August
Gout Gout. The hero Biniam Girmay is back in Eritrea. There Are No GOAT Debates. The Race of the Year. AOC Statement on Oceania Qualifying Process for Breaking. Is Premier League football disappearing from the North? Russian chess player poisons rival’s board with mercury. How was the Vuelta a España’s start inside a shopping mall? NWSL Throws The Draft In The Trash Where It Belongs. Rochelle Gilmore climbed Mt. Everest – but did she take an illegal shortcut?
September
Gout! Gout! How David Roche Nearly Ran His Dick Off And Maybe Changed Ultrarunning In The Process. Mondo Duplantis beats Karsten Warholm with a 10.37. Baseball. The Champions League: a new dawn, or just the richest winning in more lucrative ways?
October
College football ‘Super League’ details unveiled, would be called ‘College Student Football League’. The WNBA’s Season Of Clash Is Big Business For The Permanently Aggrieved. “We’re Trying To Focus On Losing”: A Night With The White Sox At The Edge Of History.
November
End MLB Pride Nights. Lost Serendipity. Coach called in a professional tackler to talk to the team. Top rugby stars ‘sign up for IPL and Formula 1 inspired breakaway competition’. Formula 1 agrees to GM joining grid for 2026 season. The UCI ‘clearly asks teams and riders not to use repeated CO inhalation’.
December
Bigots Don't Know Ball. Flag planting at Ohio State would be felony under proposed law. How McLaren Went From The Brink Of Bankruptcy To Formula 1 World Champions. European Super League relaunches as ‘Unify League’.
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I guess this is annual now unless there’s an Olympics on or I have to split what should be one newsletter into two.